Fighting History

By Faith Hunter

I was asked years ago to participate in Hold On To the Light, a forum for writers who deal with emotional or mental issues and I never could. I’d start to write and my fingers would freeze on the keyboard and I’d develop an instant panic attack and I’d stop. I always said, “Next time I’ll do it. Next time I will be able to write the words.” This has gone on for over two years.

I’m a writer, mind you. Fiction, even emotionally charged fiction, is easy. Not this. And it’s intensely personal, so … Hard. Maybe even brutal. But if I’m going to open up, it has to be personal, right? And personal is supposed to be difficult?

Hi. I’m Faith and I have panic attacks.

The hard part wasn’t just the writing of the words. Until recently I wasn’t able to even talk about this issue in a public setting, and when I finally did, it wasn’t freeing, as I had hoped it would be. Talking about all this “weird me stuff” resulted in a rare deep depression that took weeks to lift. More recently, as I’ve mulled over my emotional and physical reactions to attempting to write about anxiety, I have begun to spot the causes and the young lifestyle and the personal history that contributed to my panic attacks. Not that any one thing made me the way I am. Not at all. In fact I think I’d have panic issues no matter how or where or when I grew up. My paternal grandmother had panic attacks, misdiagnosed in the sixties as heart problems. For forty years she took meds she likely didn’t need. She lived to 99 and never had heart problems. It was all anxiety. Dad had depression and other emotional and mental issues that he refused to treat for his entire life, because real men didn’t have emotional problems. They just pulled up their bootstraps and soldiered on, making themselves and everyone around them miserable.

And that is where my “can’t talk about it” mentality came from. Dad. For all my life I pasted a smile on my face and pushed through, even when the anxiety morphed up to suicidal ideation. Even when rare bouts of mild to moderate depression joined the anxiety. I knew they would pass. I knew that. So I didn’t deal with it. I just waited it out. Making everyone around me miserable.

Just. Like. My. Dad.

All this started at onset of adolescence, age twelve. I was the weird kid who hid from the world with my nose in books—science fiction, fantasy, and mysteries. I was bullied. Abused. My family life was falling apart in a nasty, messy divorce that still has intense repercussions 50 years later. My parents sent me to a psychiatrist who prescribed meds. They did nothing to help me, so by my teens and early twenties I self-medicated. But I also I fell in love with writing and discovered that diving into a make-believe world was the BEST way to survive the day-to-day episodes. To fight off the suicidal ideation that sometimes accompanied the panic attacks, I stayed busy. Between writing and the day job (make that night-shift job at a hospital) I was pulling 70 – 90 hour weeks to keep sane.

I didn’t sleep well. I didn’t eat well. In my thirties and forties I discovered Kava and St. John’s Wort, which helped mitigate the rare bouts of depression but did nothing for the anxiety—the heart racing, tear inducing, hide-in-my-writing because I might listen to the suicidal ideation voices in my head. I wrote. And wrote. I worked at the lab. I had success and failures. And I pushed on.

Just. Like. Dad.

Until I developed health issues that forced me to rest.

In my forties I developed weird inflammation in my hands and shoulder muscles. My joints ached. My hands stopped working. I couldn’t type. I had to wear braces when I wasn’t at the lab. I had to hire a typist to transpose my hand written novels. For years it got worse. I was falling apart and I was still overdoing.

The Kava and St. John’s Wort helped. Some. I prayed. I survived. I prayed some more. I went through menopause early and the suicidal thoughts and bouts of depression that had begun at adolescence decreased markedly. Estrogen was my enemy, it seems. My husband held my hand through all this. Decades of physical pain and fighting off suicidal thoughts. Decades of making do.

Just. Like. Dad.

In my fifties I finally told my medical doctor about my symptoms.

I stopped being like my father.

I asked for help.

Now that was freeing! Because I was worried about side effects of drugs, my doc adjusted my herbs and put me on a strict schedule of meditation / prayer, exercise, therapeutic massage, and rest. He insisted I eat right. Go to church. REST. I began to get better. The inflammation decreased. But I wasn’t well. I was still suffering. Living in a make-believe world was my only true respite. I wrote like a madwoman.

Another year went by and my doctor convinced me to try an anti-anxiety med. And—

It was amazing. The anxiety attacks just … melted away. Another doctor told me I might be allergic to corn and I got off corn products. The inflammation began to go away. I adjusted my eating habits some more and changed supplements. I found a passion that got me out of my desk chair and did not hurt my joints—whitewater paddling.

There was no magic bullet. It took changes in every aspect of my life. My husband still held my hand through all this. I am blessed to have him. To have friends who cut me some slack when I had to go off and be alone, or when I was snappy or quick tempered, or when I couldn’t deal with life stuff.

I got better. All because I stopped being like my father.

I asked for help.

Am I completely free of anxiety attacks? No. And since my cardiologist wants me off my current med, because it’s addictive, I’ll have to make new changes to my lifestyle, with the help of my general practitioner. But I am happier now. I seldom have suicidal ideation. I am at peace as much as I am able.

I stopped being like my father.

I asked for help. That is the way I have held onto the light. I asked for help. Asking for help isn’t weakness. Or foolishness. It’s brave. And it’s freeing.

Faith Hunter


#HoldOnToTheLight is a blog campaign encompassing blog posts by fantasy and science fiction authors around the world in an effort to raise awareness around treatment for depression, suicide prevention, domestic violence intervention, PTSD initiatives, bullying prevention and other mental health-related issues. We believe fandom should be supportive, welcoming and inclusive, in the long tradition of fandom taking care of its own. We encourage readers and fans to seek the help they or their loved ones need without shame or embarrassment.


Please consider donating to or volunteering for organizations dedicated to treatment and prevention such as: American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, Hope for the Warriors (PTSD), National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), Canadian Mental Health Association, MIND (UK), SANE (UK), BeyondBlue (Australia), To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA) and the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.


To find out more about #HoldOnToTheLight, find a list of participating authors and blog posts, or reach a media contact, go to and join us on Facebook

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Them Bones


A #HoldOntoTheLight Blog Post by Jeanne Adams

After my mother died, I discovered she had been abused by her dad. That revelation made sense of so many inexplicable things in my life. The knowledge was horrible and sad and illuminating.

I never met my maternal grandfather (or any of my grandparents) because I was a “late life” baby. My parents were old as Methuselah when I was born. To give you a reference point, my grandparents were born in the 1880s. Yeah, that old.

Once I knew about the abuse, it all fit. Don’t believe anyone who tells you that abuse and depression don’t have a genetic component. They do. Add in parenting and you’ve got the bones on which we build our lives.

Mama was a tough taskmaster, controlling, hard to please, hypercritical and stern. Not surprising, given how she’d been raised––a passive-aggressive, abused mom paired with an abusive dad who’d made no secret that he wanted boys, and got girls. On the other hand, my dad was a teddy bear who’d been groomed for the ministry or medicine – neither of which he took to.

Mama had enough spine for four people and dad was a few vertebrae shy of a full backbone. And them bones…well, they played a huge part in how I saw the world.

One thing I realized about the same time as I figured out the abuse thing, was that my parents were perfect for one another. Mama couldn’t have married an alpha-male type. She had obvious reason to deeply distrust a domineering “Thou Shalt Not” kind of man, and she had so much determination that a marriage with another dominant would have been unmitigated hell.

Daddy knew when to stick up for himself, but he certainly didn’t put himself forward or excel at sports. Oddly enough, he did well in his career, advancing to significant success as a Director of Libraries. But, emotionally he didn’t want to be in charge. Not really. He liked that mother was willing to tell him––couched in modest language––what to do. He liked that her strong opinions absolved him of emotional responsibility.

I wouldn’t want to marry either of them. Yikes! However, together, they had enough strength in their backbones to raise two strong-willed boys, one hellion redhead, and me. We all turned into reasonably responsible adults. A miracle!

They balanced one another and found their roles and niches. For all the flaws I perceived, it worked. The balance was precarious sometimes. When hard times hit or depression loomed, it sometimes failed. Spectacularly. But they muddled through.

My mama didn’t live to see the 21st century. She would have been amazed and appalled by iPhones and pussy hats. I was in my twenties when she died of cancer, but I realized she was incredibly brave. For an abuse survivor of that era to leave home, go to college, get married and have kids was pretty damn courageous. Her sisters didn’t manage it. She fought every day to strap down her temper and not pass on the abuse she’d suffered. Most of the time, she succeeded. Sometimes, she didn’t. As a parent of two strong-willed sons, I understand how challenging that must have been.

My takeaway, thanks to therapy, is that mama deliberately chose to flip off her father and marry a good, sweet, loving man. She chose, deliberately and with great courage, to raise her children better than she’d been raised. From the grave, her stern admonition of “do better than I did, young lady” still echoes in my ears. I listen. I try.

My mother’s life was a parable of choice shaping the person––spitting in the eye of genetics, socio-economics and “your raising”.as we Southerners put it. The bones, the foundations my parents provided, had cracks and patches but they held. They were unwavering when it counted. I hope my children will say the same. My parents changed their upbringing. The choices were imperfect, but they broke the cycle.

You can too. They improved upon the last generation. I strive for that. They weren’t abusers. They encouraged rather than belittled. They did better. You can too. Choose to live. Choose to live better. Defy the odds. Be the bones of a new foundation for the future, even if your own foundations had to be torn down and rebuilt anew with tears and courage.

I know you can. I believe in you. Go. Praise. Encourage. Build. Live.

Do better.

#HoldOnToTheLight is a blog campaign encompassing blog posts by fantasy and science fiction authors around the world in an effort to raise awareness around treatment for depression, suicide prevention, domestic violence intervention, PTSD initiatives, bullying prevention and other mental health-related issues. We believe fandom should be supportive, welcoming and inclusive, in the long tradition of fandom taking care of its own. We encourage readers and fans to seek the help they or their loved ones need without shame or embarrassment.

Please consider donating to or volunteering for organizations dedicated to treatment and prevention such as: American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, Hope for the Warriors (PTSD), National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), Canadian Mental Health Association, MIND (UK), SANE (UK), BeyondBlue (Australia), To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA) and the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.

To find out more about #HoldOnToTheLight, find a list of participating authors and blog posts, or reach a media contact, go to and join us on Facebook

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Welcome to the 2018 Days of the Dead Tour

Halloween, Dia de los Muertos, Samhain, All Hallow’s Eve….when better to celebrate books about magic, necromancers, ghosts, and things that go bump in the night?

We’ve got plenty of new ‘treats’ in our Trick-or-Treat lineup this year: Vengeance, Tangled Web, The Dark Road, Salvage Rat, Assassin’s Honor, Sons of Darkness, and Close Encounters. Get a behind-the-scenes look at how the books came about and what the heck we were thinking with the guest blog posts and author Q&As.

Sign up for a chance to win a Kindle prize pack with an ebook of Tangled Web, Salvage Rat, Assassin’s Honor, The Dark Road, and Sons of Darkness!

Check out upcoming posts from

RisingShadow—Heroes in Dark Places
Qwillery—Monsters and Mayhem in the Modern World
I Smell Sheep—Excerpt of Assassin’s Honor
We Geek Girls—Assassins and Salvage Rats (includes a Salvage Rat excerpt)
Beauty in Ruins—Assassins, Honor and Vengeance
SciFi Chick—Epic vs. Urban: Writing Both Sides of Fantasy (includes a Tangled Web excerpt)
Bookloons—Excerpts from Salvage Rat and Assassin’s Honor
Dave Brendon deBurgh—Excerpt and Review of Assassin’s Honor
Fantasy Book Critic—Dangerous Truths
SFF World—Outlaws and Rogues are Always in Style
Pat’s Fantasy Hotlist—Space, Spells and Spooks

I Smell Sheep—Somewhere I Wouldn’t Want to Be After Dark

CatsLuvCoffeez—Review of Tangled Web

CreativelyGreen—Writing and Family

TSStuff—Author Q&A on Tangled Web

TheBookJunkieReads—-Author interview on Tangled Web

Mythical Books—Guest post by Larry N. Martin on Salvage Rat

Celtic Lady Reviews—Interview with Larry N. Martin on Salvage RAt

Geri Reads—Outlaw Monster Hunter Survival Tips

The Million Words Blog—Co-Writing Without Homicide

Anne Barwell—Juggling Worlds (Writing in Multiple Series)

Slippery Words—Epic Fantasy without Epic Length

Momma Says to Read or Not to Read—Making History and Fantasy for Fun

Margaret McGraw—Finding the Writer’s Spark

Enter my Rafflecopter giveaway to win a Kindle Prize Package with a free copy EACH of — Tangled Web, Assassin’s Honor, Salvage Rat, The Dark Road and Sons of Darkness!

Let me give a shout-out for #HoldOnToTheLight 2018, back for more with new authors and fantastic new posts! 150+ genre authors blogging about their personal struggles with depression, PTSD, anxiety, suicide and self-harm, candid posts by some of your favorite authors on how mental health issues have impacted their lives and books. Read the stories, share the stories, change a life. Find out more at

Don’t forget Morgan Brice
Morgan Brice is my pen name for writing urban fantasy, male/male paranormal romance, and I’ve got a great short story freebie with 22 authors here:

And you can enter this fun online scavenger hunt for a chance to win free books, a copy of my novel, Witchbane, and a Kindle Fire HD!

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Filed under Books, Gail Z. Martin

Influences: The Interplay of Books, Games, Films, and Television

by Donald J. Bingle

If you follow Gail at all on social media, you know that, like me, she is a big fan of the television show Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke. My wife and I have followed Supernatural from the very first episode. Why? Because it has hot guys? No, because the first commercial I saw for it reminded me of Chill, a horror roleplaying game from the early 80s that featured a loose collective of individuals (S.A.V.E. agents/hunters) who knew the truth about supernatural creatures and hunted them down at great personal risk. In fact, we have good fun identifying the creatures the boys were up against from our knowledge of Creatures of the Unknown from the old Chill product. Woman in White? Check. Wendigo? Been there, done that. The quality of the research, the writing, the acting, and the importance of family, where family extends beyond kin, also resonated, of course, but the interplay added to the enjoyment of the series.

The company that put out Chill (Pacesetter) also put out a time travel roleplaying game called Timemaster, which we actually acquired the rights to when Pacesetter when bankrupt. So, for a while, I did a lot of reading about time travel and wrote a number of Timemaster adventures where you have to figure out what when wrong with history and go to the right place and time to do what was necessary to put the timeline back to the way it originally happened. Timemaster’s slogan under our ownership (we’ve since sold it) was “I’ve seen the future and I’m here to fix the past.” Not surprisingly, then, we were delighted when Eric Kripke created the recent (and recently cancelled) series Timeless about agents who go to the past to change it back to the way it originally occurred.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think Eric stole anything from anybody or anything like that. Ideas are not protectible by the copyright laws—only the manner of expression. Beside, there have been all sorts of good guys fighting monsters dating all the way to mythology and various time corps have been protecting the timeline across dozens and dozens of books. That’s how influence, inspiration, and expansion and revision of tropes work in literature (and, yes, genre fiction is literature). Eric deserves all the credit for putting out some excellent, well-written shows (though I’ve looked at his bio and noted he played rpgs in his younger days and, given his age vs mine, like to think that maybe at some time in the past, maybe at a convention like GenCon, he played a round of Chill I played, too, or maybe a Timemaster adventure I wrote back in the day).

Every author has inspirations from their life and their exposure to books, games, films, and television. Some things they emulate; some things they turn upside down. Not all of these things are plot/story oriented. You learn about suspense, clues, pacing, comic relief, character development, misdirection, flashbacks, character quirks, action set pieces, and more from both real life and fiction. Those are simply tools for the writer to use in their craft.

Most recently, I’ve been writing spy thrillers and I’ve had all sorts of experiences to call upon in writing those stories even though I am not a spy. (Of course, that’s what a spy would say, isn’t it?) Sure, I watched James Bond and Jason Bourne movies and watched The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Burn Notice, and the early seasons of Alias on television. I’ve also read my share of spy thrillers. And I played a lot of Top Secret (an espionage based roleplaying game put out by TSR long before they were acquired by Wizards of the Coast). I even wrote a Bond spoof screenplay (pre Austin Powers) as an Ace Ventura sequel (Ace is hired to find the Queen’s dognapped pooch) and got it past Jim Carrey’s agent to his manager before the project stalled out. And, since I worked in the field of corporate finance and hostile takeovers, I had some real life experience keeping secrets, using fake names in communications, and keeping travel plans mum in order to keep arbitrageurs and other bidders from finding out was what going on prematurely.

All of those things influenced Wet Work, my most recent Dick Thornby Thriller, along with Net Impact, the first book in the series, just re-released with a spiffy new cover. Some of the influences are reversed—I didn’t want my spy to be a tuxedo-clad Bond rip-off or a loner assassin, like Jason Bourne. Some of the influences are incorporated—I always liked how Michael Westen explained bits of spycraft in the early seasons of Burn Notice, so I used a dynamic where my main character is often teaching spycraft to someone with less experience as they are forced to work the mission together. I also like the message about family from Supernatural, so made my spy a regular guy, with a wife and a kid he loves. Finally, I surf the net from time to time and find all sorts of bizarre and fantastic and sometimes scary things I like to incorporate and occasionally debunk as part of my fiction.

How far afield can influences go? Well, I’ve got an entire exchange in Wet Work inspired by a line from a Meat Loaf song which I always though would be a fitting line for Dean Winchester to say as the boys took on a battle against long odds on Supernatural. I don’t quote the line. I didn’t appropriate the line. I was inspired by it. (We’ll see if Gail can figure it out.)

I am always amused when I see the line “inspired by true events” at the beginning of a movie. Everything, everywhere, is impacted by everything you have ever done, seen, read, or imagined. Everything is inspired by everything else. And that is as it should be.

You can find out more about me on my website at or on Facebook, Twitter, or Goodreads at donaldjbingle. You can find an excerpt from Wet Work: Finally, you can find my spy thrillers here:

Net Impact, Amazon:
Net Impact, Nook,
Net Impact, Kobo:
Net Impact: PRINT:
Net Impact, Audible:

Wet Work, Amazon:
Wet Work, Nook:
Wet Work, Kobo:
Wet Work, PRINT:

Giveaway: Win a 25.00 gift certificate! Contest runs 7/23 thru 8/10. Rafflecopter code is below:

Author Bio:
Donald J. Bingle is the author of six books (The Love-Haight Case Files (with Jean Rabe); Wet Work; Net Impact; GREENSWORD; Frame Shop; and Forced Conversion) and about fifty shorter stories in the science fiction, thriller, horror, fantasy, mystery, steampunk, romance, comedy, and memoir genres. He was the world’s top-ranked player of classic role-playing game tournaments for the last fifteen years of the last century. He once received a surprise package in the mail with a lapel pin thanking him for his “contributions to time travel research.” He’ll really have to get around to doing that research some day soon. He is a full member of the Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America, Horror Writers Association, International Thriller Writers, International Association of Media Tie-In Writers, and Origins Game Fair Library. More on Don and his writing can be found at <>.

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Filed under Books, Gail Z. Martin, Guest Blogger

Welcome to the Hawthorn Moon 2018!

The annual blog tour began to celebrate the summer solstice, called the Hawthorn Moon in my novel The Summoner (the first book in my Chronicles of the Necromancer series). And for eleven years, we’ve kept on celebrating the solstice with new books, guest blog posts, giveaways and more!  

Here’s what’s in store this year!

Enter for a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift certificate in my Hawthorn Moon Blog Tour giveaway!

I’m a guest blogger on the following sites, sharing details about new, upcoming and continuing series, as well as some sneak peeks and behind-the-scenes details you won’t find anywhere else! — I talk about indie publishing and why indie or hybrid careers make sense for a growing number of authors —I spill the beans on the upcoming new dark urban fantasy Sons of Darkness! —Everything you ever wanted to know about writing series and sequels — Behind the scenes with Vengeance, the newest book in the Darkhurst epic fantasy series!  — A sneak peek at Tangled Web, the brand new novel in the Deadly Curiosities urban fantasy series.  — Catch up on The Dark Road and the upcoming Legacy of the Necromancer new series!  — Monster hunters, demon-hunting ex-priests and agents from the Department of Supernatural Investigations. —New scoop on both what’s next for Jonmarc Vahanian, and the next chapter in the Valmonde brothers’ medieval monster hunting!

Morgan Brice has been busy, too!

As you may know, I’ve started writing urban fantasy MM paranormal romance under the pen name Morgan Brice. Witchbane, the first book in one series, came out in March, and Badlands, the first in another series, comes out at the end of June.

The Witchbane Book Blast coincides with the Hawthorn Moon, and Badlands will kick off its own tour right after the July 4 holiday. Here’s where you can find out more!

Be sure to look for me at a convention near you!

June 29 – July 1  LibertyCon, Chattanooga, TN
July 13 – 15        ConGregate, High Point, NC
July 27-29          Raleigh SuperCon, Raleigh, NC
Aug 1-5              GenCon, Indianapolis, IN
Aug 31 – Sept 3  DragonCon, Atlanta, GA
Oct. 5-7              RomCon, Williamsburg, VA (as Morgan Brice)
Oct. 18 -21         GRL, Portsmouth, VA (as Morgan Brice)
Oct. 26-27          WV Festival of the Book, Charleston, WV

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Filed under Books, Fandom, Gail Z. Martin

A Perspective On Pain

by Chris Shrewsbury

pain (n): physical suffering or distress, as due to injury, illness, etc.

Rarely has the definition of a word so failed to capture its essence, its flavor. The above definition of “pain” is akin to describing music as a “rhythmic aural construct.”

For most of my 50+ years, pain was an occasional, but bearable, physical nuisance. The rare bump, bruise, or scratch we all accumulate through life. (This was before I’d ever stepped on a Lego block…) Of course, there are also those unseen hurts: heartbreaks, the loss of a loved one, and such. Little did I know how intimately I would come to know both types, the physical and the emotional.

Around the time our son was born, I began experiencing gradually increasing pain in my hands and feet. After a number of physician visits, I was diagnosed with a condition manifesting as progressive neurological weakness and decay. Given the rate and nature of its advance toward major organs and systems, my prognosis was terminal. I was told to expect decreasing function and escalating pain.

So in my late 30s and never having so much as a broken finger, I now had to deal with knowing the rest of my shortened life will be spent not only in constant physical pain and disability, but also the anguish of leaving behind my wife of three years and young son. Nothing prepares you for that scenario, and it’s one that I’d never wish on my worst enemy.

Please believe me when I tell you that my lows have been quite low, indeed. I have had days where I have wept the most bitter of tears, cursing God and at the same time begging Him for relief. And more often than I can say, it was only the image of my wife and son that kept me going. The loss of abilities we all take for granted, numerous hospitalizations, multiple amputations, infections, being confined to bed for months at a time. The inability to be the husband and father my family deserved. All of these and more have conspired to turn my life into the deepest and darkest of nights. (Lego blocks got nothing on this.)

Now this is the part where I’m supposed to tell you how I overcame all of these obstacles and that everything is just fine. And I really wish I could, but I’d be lying. Pain is still my close companion. The truth is that my condition is progressing, and even though I take so many pills each day that I rattle when I walk, my pain levels are high and my prognosis is unchanged. And although my time with my family may be limited, we are firmly dedicated to creating beautiful, meaningful memories and making each day count. And I have found an extremely rewarding effort in sharing my perspective (on everything from disabilities to humor and all things in-between) with others, hoping to encourage, enlighten, and entertain.

I spent quite a while thinking that life would be worthwhile if I could just escape the pain. What I’ve found is that life is what happens through the pain. Some people measure that life in years or milestones. Others may measure it in seasons or sunrises. And oftentimes there are those of us that can simply just count each breath coming in and going out. But regardless your system of measure, I sincerely hope you glimpse life’s beauty through the pain, be it of your body or in your heart. May that beauty give you strength to continue counting breaths, sunrises, and seasons.


About the campaign:
#HoldOnToTheLight is a blog campaign encompassing blog posts by fantasy and science fiction authors around the world in an effort to raise awareness around treatment for depression, suicide prevention, domestic violence intervention, PTSD initiatives, bullying prevention and other mental health-related issues. We believe fandom should be supportive, welcoming and inclusive, in the long tradition of fandom taking care of its own. We encourage readers and fans to seek the help they or their loved ones need without shame or embarrassment.
Please consider donating to or volunteering for organizations dedicated to treatment and prevention such as: American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, Hope for the Warriors (PTSD), National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), Canadian Mental Health Association, MIND (UK), SANE (UK), BeyondBlue (Australia), To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA) and the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.

To find out more about #HoldOnToTheLight, find a list of participating authors and blog posts, or reach a media contact, go to and join us on Facebook

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Happy Spring!

Awesomecon and Ravencon were wonderful, and now that I’m home, we’re back to getting more books out to satisfy story-hungry readers!

Watch for Tangled Web (Deadly Curiosities novel #3) to come out very soon, in ebook/print and in audiobook! When a malicious weaver-witch awakens the spirit of an ancient Norse seoir warlock and calls to the Wild Hunt, Cassidy, Teag, and Sorren—and all their supernatural allies—will need magic, cunning, and the help of a Viking demi-goddess to survive the battle and keep Charleston—and the whole East Coast—from becoming the prey of the Master of the Hunt.

Vengeance (Darkhurst book #3) is also due later this spring, continuing the adventures of undertaker brothers Corran and Rigan Valmonde and their outlaw friends as they battle the monsters and uncover a conspiracy much larger than they ever imagined.

Also coming soon from Falstaff Books is Deep Trouble, our third Spells, Salt, and Steel Mark Wojcik monster hunter adventure. Mark’s gone up against plenty of big bad creatures and cryptids, but never like this! Mark Wojcik fights a dragon, has a battle of wits with the ghost of Mad Anthony Wayne, and even takes on the infamous Pig People of Radio Tower Hill, but when the angry spirits from a bloody mine disaster come looking for vengeance, Mark knows he’s in deep trouble!

We’re working on plenty of other stuff behind the scenes, so expect plenty of new stuff yet to be revealed—we’ve got your summer reading covered!

Under my Morgan Brice pen name (urban fantasy MM paranormal romance), I’m working on the first book in a new series, Badlands, set in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. I hope to have it out in May, so stay tuned to find out more!

Witchbane, the first Morgan Brice release, is racking up 4 and 5 star reviews! The Witchbane blog tour includes excerpts, a Q&A, a post from me on Paths to Publication, and musings about the inspiration for the new series and the addition of a new name and a new sub-genre! Plus a chance to win a $25 gift certificate! Here’s the master page—visit the participating blogs and enter the Rafflecopter drawing from their sites!

Supernatural fans—I’m going to the #SPNNC convention in Charlotte in August. I’d love to meet up with you there! Here’s the link to the con group I started to help attendees find each other

Come see me at a convention, follow me on Twitter @GailZMartin (and @MorganBriceBook), join the Shadow Alliance street team or The Worlds of Morgan Brice free Facebook groups, or check out my Pinterest boards (includes a Morgan Brice board, as well as abandoned buildings, cute animals, nostalgia and Supernatural).

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Filed under Books, Gail Z. Martin

Where Have All the Muses Gone—a #HoldOnToTheLight post

By Danielle Ackley-McPhail

From the first days of my conscious thought I have always been creative. I have told tales and given free rein to my imagination. I’ve created worlds on paper, in my head, for my toys, friends, and anyone else who would listen. And—eventually—for my fans. I have lived with my muses for a very, very long time.

holdontothelight-fb-bannerI live to be creative. To make something awe-inspiring out of nothing but a thought.

It kills me to not be creative.

I am dying inside.

Since 2014 the stress of life has become a barrier between myself and my muses. The death of loved ones, friends, pets… The struggle to provide for my family. My failure to do so. Losing my job. Losing my house. Moving in a long, slow, painful process that feels as if it will never end. Still not knowing how I’m going to meet my obligations. Needing to find a job.

My muses and I are rarely on speaking terms anymore. Or maybe I’ve just become deaf to their voices, too soft to hear over the clamber of all my other worries. Pushed back by all the other responsibilities. Even just writing this article has been a struggle. I despair of every being creative again. Believe me. That doesn’t help. The panicked jibbering in my head at that thought drowns the muses out even more. Depression kills my passion and my joy, but I refuse to let it triumph and kill the heart of me.

I remind myself that today is not the day. But that does not mean tomorrow isn’t. Or the next. Or even years from now.
My creativity might not come when I expect it. When I need it. But that is not today’s concern. Today I must survive. I must manage what responsibilities I can. Deal with whatever crises rise up before me. Because no matter how dark today seems, there is always tomorrow. Each time I wake up to a new day, it is a win. I will not surrender my life, my creativity to despair. I will not hand it that victory.

Over the last three years I have had to focus on survival, but that does not mean my muses have been silent. I have written, there have been fleeting moments of inspiration, and once I find my feet again, my sisters will be there, ready once more to whisper in my ear, to share new worlds with me.

And I WILL share them with you. If I do not give up.

Never Give Up. Never Surrender.

#HoldOnToTheLight is a blog campaign encompassing blog posts by fantasy and science fiction authors around the world in an effort to raise awareness around treatment for depression, suicide prevention, domestic violence intervention, PTSD initiatives, bullying prevention and other mental health-related issues. We believe fandom should be supportive, welcoming and inclusive, in the long tradition of fandom taking care of its own. We encourage readers and fans to seek the help they or their loved ones need without shame or embarrassment.

Please consider donating to or volunteering for organizations dedicated to treatment and prevention such as: American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, Hope for the Warriors (PTSD), National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), Canadian Mental Health Association, MIND (UK), SANE (UK), BeyondBlue (Australia), To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA) and the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.

To find out more about #HoldOnToTheLight, find a list of participating authors and blog posts, or reach a media contact, go to and join us on Facebook

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Hawthorn Moon Tour 2017–Monsters, Airships and Smugglers

FC (Scourge)Welcome to my annual Hawthorn Moon blog tour! The name comes from a holiday celebrated on the Solstice in my Chronicles of the Necromancer series, and the idea just stuck. It’s become the season to unveil new cover art, talk about new books and upcoming new releases, and explore ideas in guest blog posts on blogs around the world!

The big news….

Scourge, the first book in my new Darkhurst epic fantasy series, comes out from Solaris Books July 15!

What’s Scourge about? Here’s the short answer: Three undertaker brothers in a medieval trading town battle monsters to protect their family and neighbors, only to discover that the monsters have masters and the stakes are higher than they dreamed.

Here’s the book cover answer: In a city beset by monsters, three brothers must find out who is controlling the abominations and stop the carnage. Corran, Rigan, and Kell Valmonde are Guild Undertakers, left to run their family’s business when guards murdered their father and monsters killed their mother. Their grave magic enables them to help souls pass to the After and banish vengeful spirits. Rigan’s magic is unusually strong and enables him to hear the confessions of the dead, the secrets that would otherwise be taken to the grave. When the toll exacted by monsters and brutal guards hits close to home and ghosts expose the hidden sins of powerful men, Corran, Rigan and Kell become targets in a deadly game and face a choice: obey the Guild, or fight back and risk everything.

And here’s the Hollywood pitch summary: Supernatural meets Game of Thrones.

So there you have it–medieval monster hunters! Be sure to check out the excerpts I’ll be posting with many of the blog tour links!

The Tour

IMG_0158Check back here for updates–I’ll post live links to the blog posts, giveaways and excerpts running on these awesome blogs!

We Geek Girls
Magical Words
Solaris Books/When Gravity Fails
Beauty In Ruins
I Smell Sheep
Jacey Bedford
SciFi Chick
SFF World
SF Bokhandlein
Squealing Nerd
Dave Brendon deBurgh
Fantasy Book Critic
There will also be a Goodreads giveaways, so stay tuned for details!

Other News

IMG_0090We’ve got a trio of new Steampunk stories in the Storm & Fury Adventures (extra episodes in the Iron & Blood world): Ghost Wolf, Ruin Creek and Lagniappe! Werewolf vigilantes, skinwalkers and weird West aliens and the curse of a pirate’s ghost–these stories have it all!

Jonmarc Vahanian fans–his story is now complete! If you’ve been following the serialized journey of everyone’s favorite brigand lord, the tale is now complete with Death Match, Guardian and Smuggler!  These three novellas take the action up to about five years before the beginning of The Summoner! (Will I ever write more smuggling tales? Maybe!)

What’s Coming Up!

IMG_0028Salvage Rat, new space opera series by Larry N. Martin, will debut later this year. If you cross Bonnie and Clyde with V For Vendetta in a Firefly-esque universe, you’re on the money!

Spells, Salt and Steel–Larry and I team up to write this brand new series loosely set in John Hartness’s Bubba the Monster Hunter ‘verse. Mechanic Mike Wojcik and an unlikely group of helpers battle monsters, urban legends and homicidal deer in the wilds of Western Pennsylvania. Coming in October.

A Deadly Curiosities novella tied in with the world of Jeanne Adam’s Haven Harbor witchcraft series in an all-new anthology! Look for it at Halloween!

Hath No Fury, an anthology about kick-ass female characters from Ragnarok Press featuring an origin story for Kestel Falke from my Ascendant Kingdoms Saga.

IMG_0098The Assassins of Landria–If Butch and Sundance were medieval assassins, they would roll like this. An epic fantasy buddy flick series filled with dark magic, betrayal and action. Coming later this year.

A Terrific Tie-In I Can’t Talk about Yet!  Watch for an announcement in late summer about this brand new media tie-in series coming in 2019

The final three Blaine McFadden Adventures–Arctic Prison, Ice Bound and Cold Fury told the story of Blaine’s years as a convict. Watch for three new novellas in early 2019 that recount his years as a colonist!

There’s more, including plans to start writing the seventh Chronicles of the Necromancer book (beginning a new six-book series seventeen years after The Dread), new novels in the Deadly Curiosities and Iron & Blood series, and three more new series I can’t talk about yet! Subscribe to my email update, and you’ll never miss a new release!

Come see us at a Convention!

I’ll be at LibertyCon, then we’ll both be at ConGregate, then I go to GenCon and we’re both at DragonCon and Atomacon. Look for us there–we’ll have a table with books galore (including hard-to-find anthologies and our new indie stuff in print) at several of the cons plus Larry’s awesome hand-thrown pottery shot glasses and mugs!

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Why Fandom is My Family, and Family Don’t End With Blood

I don’t usually write blog posts that are about someone else’s book. BUT–Lynn Zubernis asked for my ‘thinky thoughts’ about her new book, Family Don’t End With Blood, so here I go.

The story so far….Lynn runs the Fangasm Supernatural fan site and is @FangasmSPN on Twitter. She’s very active at SPN conventions and both she and Laurena Aker of the WinchesterFamilyBusiness site are pillars of the Supernatural fandom community. Family Don’t End With Blood is Lynn’s new book about how Supernatural–the show, the characters, the actors and the fandom–changed lives and helped people through depression, anxiety, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, grief, physical challenges, self-harm and other issues. It includes interviews with actors, fans and others who are part of the SPNFamily.

IMG_0078I knew I was in trouble when I choked up on the introduction. Trust me when I say I’m not a big crier. I was teary before I was even into the first essay. Not sad tears, but that sense you get when you come home and know it.

I’ve talked candidly about how fandom saved my life when I was 15. And I’ve also talked about why, in these frightening and unstable times, we fans need each other and our fandoms more than ever. And I’ve also shared how Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles’ #AlwaysKeepFighting (#AKF) campaign via the Supernatural fandom inspired me to pull together 100 science fiction/fantasy authors for the #HoldOnToTheLight campaign.

Fandom has been part of my life since I was about 15. Now that I’m an author of epic fantasy, urban fantasy and steampunk, I’m not only a fan, but I’m up on the stage on panels, talking about how we create the worlds readers escape into, as well as other fannish interests. Most of my friends are involved in fandom at some level or another, either as pros or fans–or both. I travel for about 15 sci-fi/fantasy conventions a year all over the U.S. and sometimes Canada. I am writing eight novels this year, plus some short stories and novellas. I spend most of my waking hours surrounded by the characters in my books. So I take fandom very seriously.

I came late to the party on Supernatural, diving into the show during late S11 and got completely caught up on all eleven seasons plus all the tie-in books (and reading more fan fiction than I will admit to sober) by the start of Season 12. I haven’t gone this deep into a fandom since the first Star Wars movie came out in 1977. And gradually, I came to understand why.

I knew about Supernatural because one of my daughters had watched it when the show first came out and she said I would like it. Then last April, all of a sudden it seemed like the right time to start in. I was hooked from the start, and we binge watched a couple of episodes each night. Little did I know that I was also just heading into a storm of personal upsets and set backs that still hasn’t fully worked its way out. I found myself getting immersed in the show–and then the books and the fan fiction–as a way to hang on.IMG_0347

One of the first ways Supernatural changed me happened when I saw how much good came out of the #AlwaysKeepFighting campaign. I was really impressed that Jared and Jensen and Misha would use their platform to do something so personal and important. That got me thinking. Writers aren’t famous like actors, but our books create the worlds that inspire TV shows and movies–we create the genre. I know a lot of writers, and I also knew that we all had our own demons. So I asked 100 of my author friends if they would be willing to write a post on their own blogs about how mental health issues like depression, suicide, PTSD, anxiety, self-harm, etc. had affected them, someone they loved, their characters and their writing. I called it #HoldOnToTheLight, and the goal was to decrease the stigma about mental health issues within fandom, to stand in solidarity with fans, and to encourage readers to seek help. You can find more about #HoldOnToTheLight and the master post of blogs at We also encouraged convention runners to add panels on mental health to con programming or to expand/promote panels they already offered. The list of cons with those panels is growing, and now includes GenCon (approx. 70K attendees) and Dragon*Con (approx 80K attendees).

But Supernatural wouldn’t let me go–and going through a personal rough patch, I dove in deeper. I found my way into online fandom, first by immersing myself in fan fiction, fan videos and art, and then gradually getting involved in the lively, ongoing conversation on Twitter.

That’s how I met Nightsky, and as we chatted–first with tweets, then direct messages, then emails–she asked me to do a guest blog post for Winchester Family Business based on some comments I’d made. Then I was heading to Chicago to a non-SPN convention, and we agreed to meet up between my panels. We ended up spending most of the day together and having a wonderful dinner, and then continuing the conversation via email afterwards. I’ve written another guest blog since then for WFB and might do so again. Along the way, I started to live tweet the new episodes, and met even more fans. Now going out on Twitter is a highlight and social point of my day, responding to conversations, posting photos and memes, and enjoying the SPNFamily’s online companionship. I’m still not through that rough patch, but the SPNFamily is helping me hang on–they mean more to me than I can express, and I hope I can pay the favor forward.

There’s one more reason Supernatural is so special to me, and I didn’t realize it until I was well into season six.

Sam and Dean faced down the specter that dominated my childhood and convinced me that I would never live long enough to become an adult: the Apocalypse.

Now maybe that sounds strange. But I grew up in a church that expected the literal Biblical Apocalypse/Rapture/Armageddon to happen any day. And simultaneously, my parents were involved in the far right’s conspiracy-fueled underground expecting a Communist take-over (a la the Chinese Cultural Revolution and Stalin’s purges) to happen at any time. (Note: I disavowed both these religious and political views decades ago, but they unquestionably warped my childhood and framed my world view as a child/adolescent.)

IMG_0106One of my favorite books as a child and pre-teen was Clarence Larkin’s The Greatest Book of Dispensational Truth. It was–I kid you not–an illustrated, fold-out guide to the Apocalypse that did not consider itself to be fiction. If you wonder where Supernatural got its horsemen, Leviathans, the Witnesses, the Seals, the Whore of Babylon, the Beast, the AntiChrist and so much more–it’s all in there, in pictures. Larkin and John Nelson Darby popularized the Rapture and Armageddon mythos by reading several prophetic books of the Bible (Ezekiel, Daniel and Revelation as well as the apocryphal book of Enoch–yes, it’s where Enochian comes from) and interpreting them outside of generally accepted methods of textual criticism and archeological/cultural study. In other words, they in a sense wrote fan fiction of the Bible, and it stuck.

When these frightening images are part of what all the adults around you accept as real and inevitable, it is terrifying to a child–like finding out that the monster under the bed is real. It was too big to handle, and the only advice from adults was just to make sure my soul was ok when it came my time to die.

At the same time, my parents got pulled into a secretive network of conspiracy theorists who believed that Communists had infiltrated the world governments at every level and that–any day now–we were all either going to die or be imprisoned in gulags. One of my earliest memories is my mom coaching me on how to behave when the day came that we would be taken to a prison camp. I think I was around four or five.

My uncle got us into it. He had been in infantry and then tanks in World War II and saw combat in the Battle of the Bulge. I believe he returned with severe PTSD, which went untreated and unacknowledged, and I think it made him vulnerable to the nightmarish scenarios of the conspiracies. My uncle’s friends were also WWII vets. They passed information via short-wave radio (no internet back in the 1970s), through secret get-togethers, and by word of mouth–always wary that ‘They’ were watching.

IMG_0107So I grew up with people who stockpiled ammo and hid guns in the walls of their houses, who had bunkers and safe houses, who talked about keeping a stash of silver coins on hand so that when–not if–the banks collapsed and currency lost its value, we could run and go to ground. I grew up with caches of freeze-dried food–enough to last five years–and survivalist tactics and friends who trained their kids to strip a gun blindfolded. My uncle and his friends saw themselves as the thin gray line of sentries in a war against evil, willing to die for a cause kept secret because others would think it was crazy.

I don’t think John Winchester and Bobby Singer would have shared the political views of my uncle and his friends, but they could have walked into the room and had a drink with them and understood those guys. They were damaged men, trying to do the best they could, protecting the people they loved.

Shedding those two pervasive world views that had shaped my understanding of reality nearly destroyed me as a teenager in my college years. Fandom and my early attempts at writing the novel which would someday become The Summoner kept me alive. Back then, I discovered I could entertain and amuse my friends by writing fan fiction for Star Wars, Star Trek, Space: 1999 and other shows. We passed the typed or hand-written stories around at convention room parties in the early 1980s. For a short time, I even ran a fanzine.

I belonged in fandom the way I didn’t ever belong in my birth family, at my church, at my college or with most of the people I knew growing up. Inside fandom, I was safe. Inside fandom, people understood and liked the same things I did, they got the jokes and the catchphrases. They validated, affirmed and encouraged. We might have been freaks to the outside world, but we were freaks together.

When I started watching Supernatural, I didn’t realize the connection at first. Then one day, it hit me and I was poleaxed. Sam and Dean faced down my personal bogeyman–the Apocalypse–and survived. Scarred, yes, but still standing and stronger than before. True heroes.

So when I read Lynn’s awesome book and the essays by creators, actors and fans alike about the strength and healing of the fandom family, I totally understand. I cherish my time at conventions when I can be with my tribe–although the events at which I’m a panelist are general sci-fi/fantasy cons instead of the SPN cons (which do sound like a lot of fun). I’m so thrilled that because of Supernatural, a much larger group of people have come into fandom and found that refuge. We all find our corner of fandom, whether it’s books, movies, TV shows, cosplay, gaming, LARP, comics, filk music, art or a mix of all of those.

One of the most affirming thing you can hear as an author is that your book and characters got someone through a hard time. I have read books by favorite authors that got me through depression, loneliness, deaths in the family, and stressful circumstances. And my most cherished notes from readers are the ones who tell me that my books kept them company at the bedside of a dying loved one, got them through two tours of duty in Afghanistan, or otherwise helped them survive hard times.

As Lynn shares in her book, that two-way support is taken to a whole new level of special with the Supernatural fandom and its creators and actors. I’ve seen that kind of support in action, and I know how powerful it can be, and how wonderful it is to belong to a community that welcomes you and encourages you to be your real self.

I’ve felt that welcome myself as a newcomer to SPNFamily–take a look at my Twitter feed, It’s turned Twitter into one of my favorite activities. I look forward to seeing what new wonderful comments and photos my SPNFamily is going to share that day, and enjoy trying to return the favor. Getting adopted by this wonderful group of people has meant a lot to me.

So go buy Lynn’s book. Give it to a friend who needs encouragement. But even more importantly, continue being the wonderful fandom and SPNFamily you already are and be there for each other. Because family really doesn’t end with blood–in the end, our true families are the people we choose.


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