What did I learn from this summer’s crop of action flicks? Well, they weren’t really intended as educational fare, but in between bites of popcorn, I picked up a few life lessons, so I thought I’d share them with you.
Transformers—prepare for your job interviews if you don’t want to look like a dofus.
Thor—wait until you’ve been crowned before acting like the king.
Pirates 4—asking nicely for things like a mermaid’s tears will get you farther than kidnapping and larceny
Harry Potter 7—that pile of junk in your attic just might be a valuable relic. Or just a fire hazard.
Green Lantern—stopping to help at a traffic accident can change your life.
Captain America—never underestimate the skinny kid.
Cowboys and Aliens—don’t bet against a low-tech rebellion.
Conan—If you don’t want someone to reassemble the evil mask, destroy it, don’t just hide the pieces.
I’m not sure what kind of life wisdom any of this imparts, but passing along these disturbed ramblings is just another one of my many public services. Enjoy.